How To Look Put Together (For Girls Who Are Not Put Together) – Part Three: Makeup, Hair, and Grooming

Well, we’ve come to the end of the line, ladies (and/or people who like to dress like ladies). I’ve told you my best tips for clothing, accessories, and now we just have the final touches: makeup, hair, and general grooming.

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How To Look Put Together (For Girls Who Are Not Put Together) – Part Two: Accessories

In part one of my wildly popular new series on how girls (or people who dress in women’s clothing) can look put together without actually being put together in the slightest, I discussed exclusively clothes. But there’s so much more to an outfit than clothes (unfortunately for our wallets).  And so this week I present part two of my primer, aka The Part of Being A Girl I Am The Worst At: Shoes/Accessories.
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How To Look Put Together (For Girls Who Are Not Put Together) – Part One: Clothing

Being a girl is a mysterious, frustrating thing. At a certain age, people start expecting you to look, if not fashionable, at least put together. Guys get a free pass on wearing roughly the same uniform every day (my brother, for example, wears cargos/jeans, sneakers, a t-shirt, and a hoodie if it is cold, and has for his entire teenaged and adult life), but not girls. Clothing, hair, and makeup become hobbies that take up exorbitant amounts of time and money no matter how hard you try to avoid it. And the worst part is, at no point are you given a class or primer on how to do this stuff, you’re just supposed to magically know it.

I’m 26, I’m employed, and at some point I realized I have managed to trick people into thinking I have my shit together, appearance-wise. I have one co-worker who’s always commenting on how cute and fashionable I am. Considering that in seventh grade I thought the height of fashion was cutting up tights and wearing them as sleeves, I think this qualifies as character growth.

The thing is, I am two things that are very antithetical to Being A Girl, and that is that I am both lazy and cheap. But the nice thing about being lazy and cheap is that you develop really great shortcuts so people don’t know how lazy and cheap you are. And I realized one day, as I was getting ready for work, that the world deserved to know these. Surely, there are many girls out there who, like me, are lazy, cheap, and just want people to think they know what they’re doing when it comes to their personal appearance. And so I present to you this very long, detailed blog post for every lazy, cheap girl out there who’s just like me.

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Fleury Is Our King


I was watching hockey one day (one of my great loves), and Marc-Andre Fleury was playing in net for the Penguins (another one of my great loves) and he was doing absolutely fantastic. Which reminded me of Ron Weasley (an older, yet still great love) and the wonderful hymn dedicated to his own goalkeeping prowess. And thus, a shirt idea was born, and thanks to a snow day home from work I finally got to see it to fruition.


The shirt can be found for sale here if you’re so inclined to buy one. It’s up for sale on Zazzle, which I chose for being by far the cheapest option for all my broke friends, though the downside is that the site is slow as all heck, for which I apologize. I have found it works a little faster in Firefox than it does in Chrome.

UPDATE: Zazzle refuses to sell shirts with even partial names of famous people, so I’ve moved the shirt to Redbubble, where it can be found here. You can print it on any color now! Though I suggest gray, as that’s what it was designed for.

I make about a dollar for every shirt sold (I know, right? Such decadence) so my goal is to sell about 25 and basically negate any expense I incurred ordering one for myself.

Have at it, sports fans, and let’s go Pens!

New Contract a Win for Fleury, Penguins (Originally for The Pink Puck)

1024px-Marc-Andre_Fleury_2011-12-29With his stellar performance to start the season (a 7-2-0 record, .931 save percentage, 1.89 goals against average, and three shutouts), it seemed inevitable that the Penguins would re-sign Marc-Andre Fleury. While some Penguins fans pointed to Fleury’s off-season meltdowns as reason to trade him, others said that Fleury showed marked improvement since being coached by Mike Bales and seeing a sports psychologist, and that the Penguins’ loss in the playoffs last year was largely the result of a lack of offensive prowess, not a goaltending issue.

Furthermore, Penguins fans on both sides of the argument had to face the grim reality of the current goalie market, which is extremely barren. A goaltender of Fleury’s caliber or an upgrade who is eligible for hire simply doesn’t exist, and certainly not at a price the Penguins could pay. Fleury stood to gain a large amount of money on the open market if the Penguins didn’t make their move – either to trade or re-sign him.

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I Like Guys – Originally for hitRECord

I like strong guys. Not strong like he lifts weights, but the kind of guy with that inner strength that makes you feel calm just being around him. I like guys who listen as much as they speak, and when they speak it’s in a deep, soothing voice, the kind you can get lost in.

– – –

Every two minutes, someone in the USA is sexually assaulted.

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The Best of the NHL’s Ice Bucket Challenges (Originally for The Pink Puck)

paulbissonetteicebucket-700x357An inescapable craze struck the nation this off-season, more feel-good than Guardians of the Galaxy and catchier than the song “All About That Bass”. I am referring, of course, to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. We here at The Pink Puck not only nominated our readers, but we’re so dedicated to giving back that we have watched every single video of an NHL player doing the ice bucket challenge (yes, every single one), and fellow Pink Puck writer Mollyhall and I have teamed up to bring you the best of the best, cream of the crop challenges you can’t afford to miss.

Stay frosty, friends, and don’t forget to donate.

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