Tag Archives: online shopping

The Top Five Things I Bought in 2018

2018 has been a weird year. I’m not talking geopolitically for the world at large (though I could be talking geopolitically for the world at large), but for me, personally. I’ve done a lot this year – got a job, moved out, realized that living in a house with eight other strangers, seven of whom were dudes, was less like the fun parts of The Real World and more like the boring and unshown parts of The Real World where the kitchen’s always too small and no one else agrees with you that keeping toilet paper (and backup rolls of toilet paper) in the house is important, moved back home, completed tons of college classes, babysat too much, petsat too much (can you really do either, though?), and generally did and experienced so much that fitting it even in this run-on disaster of a sentence is impossible.

I also, in the course of these events, did not have any time to write anything that wasn’t an academic paper, but I did need a lot and buy a lot. And since people so enjoyed reading about stuff I enjoyed last year (or, more accurately, I enjoyed writing about it), I figured why not make you all read about the favorite things I’ve bought this year? I obviously didn’t get this done in time for Christmas (see: I got a job), but let’s just pretend this was on purpose so I could look more holistically at truly all of 2018 and my purchases. Here, in no particular order, are the top five best purchases I made:

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How To Look Put Together (For Girls Who Are Not Put Together) – Part Two: Accessories

In part one of my wildly popular new series on how girls (or people who dress in women’s clothing) can look put together without actually being put together in the slightest, I discussed exclusively clothes. But there’s so much more to an outfit than clothes (unfortunately for our wallets).  And so this week I present part two of my primer, aka The Part of Being A Girl I Am The Worst At: Shoes/Accessories.
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How To Look Put Together (For Girls Who Are Not Put Together) – Part One: Clothing

Being a girl is a mysterious, frustrating thing. At a certain age, people start expecting you to look, if not fashionable, at least put together. Guys get a free pass on wearing roughly the same uniform every day (my brother, for example, wears cargos/jeans, sneakers, a t-shirt, and a hoodie if it is cold, and has for his entire teenaged and adult life), but not girls. Clothing, hair, and makeup become hobbies that take up exorbitant amounts of time and money no matter how hard you try to avoid it. And the worst part is, at no point are you given a class or primer on how to do this stuff, you’re just supposed to magically know it.

I’m 26, I’m employed, and at some point I realized I have managed to trick people into thinking I have my shit together, appearance-wise. I have one co-worker who’s always commenting on how cute and fashionable I am. Considering that in seventh grade I thought the height of fashion was cutting up tights and wearing them as sleeves, I think this qualifies as character growth.

The thing is, I am two things that are very antithetical to Being A Girl, and that is that I am both lazy and cheap. But the nice thing about being lazy and cheap is that you develop really great shortcuts so people don’t know how lazy and cheap you are. And I realized one day, as I was getting ready for work, that the world deserved to know these. Surely, there are many girls out there who, like me, are lazy, cheap, and just want people to think they know what they’re doing when it comes to their personal appearance. And so I present to you this very long, detailed blog post for every lazy, cheap girl out there who’s just like me.

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