The Wes Anderson Gift Guide

Anyone who has known me for at least one holiday season knows that there are very few things I love more in this world than giving people gifts. It combines all of my greatest skills: remembering obscure details, empathy, consumerism without having to keep the stuff I buy, and doing things for other people as a form of self-care. Most people don’t know that I also love Wes Anderson, but when I tell them that’s usually accompanied by a groan or sigh and a reaction of “oh my god, of course you love Wes Anderson.”

I was just looking at my bank account and feeling very sorry for myself with the realization that I simply couldn’t afford to go full Santa’s Workshop (or whatever the Jewish equivalent of that is) this year when Nicole Cliffe and John Leavitt began positing what you could possibly buy Wes Anderson for his birthday if he was your friend. Nicole claimed it was impossible. John claimed it was easy. It was like they put a bat signal in the sky that said “JULIA, PLEASE ABANDON ALL OF YOUR OTHER EARTHLY DUTIES AND ATTEND TO THIS WHICH WILL COST YOU EXACTLY ZERO DOLLARS.”

And, well, I did.

The thing about Wes Anderson is, as I will tell anyone who has the misfortune to ask me about this subject and without a clear exit strategy, that while he has a clear unifying aesthetic of eclectic mid-century modernism, how he expresses it – from the color story to the materials – changes a lot with each movie, meaning that the man himself may be impossible to triangulate. Individual preferences are extremely nuanced, and what I’d guess I should buy for Wes Anderson based on Rushmore would be entirely different from what I’d guess would make a great gift based on The Grand Budapest Hotel. So the question then was obviously not “what is a good gift for Wes Anderson”, because that would probably change based on whatever he was working on, but rather “what is a good gift for someone in the universe of each Wes Anderson movie”.

Now, I haven’t seen every Wes Anderson movie, and even if I had, as willing as I am to sink stupid amount of time into a fake gifting quest, even I have my limits. I went with guides for three of Wes Anderson’s movies – The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, and Moonrise Kingdom.

(Note: This post is completely unsponsored and I make no money on nor received free samples of any of these products. This means I can’t testify to the quality of a lot of them. All prices are in USD and don’t include shipping.)

The Royal Tenenbaums Gift Guide
1. Shoeraser from Fred and Friends, $4.00
2. Blush Address Book from Rifle Paper C0, $32.00
3. 1000 Record Covers by Michael Ochs, $9.99
4. Fuck Off I’m Reading Socks from Blue Q, $9.99
5. Strange Ideas and Impure Thoughts Journal from The Mincing Mockingbird, $12.99
6. Utopia Reversible Boy/Girl Bud Vase from Jonathan Adler, $28.00
7. I’m A Lot Of Work Jumbo Pouch from Blue Q, $9.99
8. Eyes Valet Tray from Jonathan Adler, $68.00
9. Cruiser Deluxe Portable Turntable from Crosley, $89.95

The Life Aquatic Gift Guide
1.  Burgundy Cuffed Beanie from Love Your Melon, $30.00
2. Pull and Go Submarine Bath Toy from the MoMA Gift Store, $8.00
3. Deep Tea Diver Infuser from Fred and Friends, $15.00
4. Novel Duffle from Herschel, $124.99
5. Ship in a Bottle Socks from Socksmith, $8.00
6. London Alarm Clock from West Elm, $30.00
7. Tiny Whale Planter from Cumbuca Chic on Etsy, $25.00
8. Albertus Seba Print from The Evolution Store, $19.00
9. Penguins Classics Edition of Moby Dick by Herman Melville, $20.39

Moonrise Kingdom Gift Guide
1. Blend Limited Collection Moleskine, $15.37 (on sale)
2. Compass Patch from ForTheLoveOfPatch on Etsy, $4.99
3. Dreamlights Rechargable Night Light from Fred and Friends, $35.00
4. Striped Throw from H&M Home, $49.99
5. New Treehouses of the World by Pete Nelson, $28.86
6. Scouts Antique Brass Binoculars from Handcrafted Nautical Decor, $39.99
7. Portable AM/FM Radio from Studebaker, $21.48
8. Pioneer Enamelware Table Set from GSI Outdoors, $69.95
9. Bon Voyage Decorative Rainbow Storage Suitcases Set from Land of Nod, $20.00

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