Monthly Archives: November 2012

Monster Doodles (Originally for


Some days, you just gotta clean out the scrap folder. And on those days, I usually like to post the less terrible scraps to hitRECord, which is what I did with these three little monsters.


Scotch Tape and I: A Love Letter from the Manicure-Incompetent

For someone who considers themselves an artist, I am absolute shit at painting my nails.

It’s weird, give me anything resembling a pencil and I can draw ornate detail that would make baby angels weep. But the second you put a brush with paint in my hand – and this is true of painting things besides nails – I turn into a shaky mess. I like to keep my nails painted at all times, and I usually use the extremely sophisticated “paint your entire finger and then wash a bunch of dishes under hot water” method for getting the entire nail but getting the nail polish off the finger. My sister, who is a nursery school teacher, has informed me that one of her students could paint nails better than I could. Even if they were having a seizure. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t being mean and those are just the facts.

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A Thank You Note to America

Voting in 2008 and in 2012

Dear America,

Thank you.

When I woke up yesterday morning, it was seven AM. My mother, who was the Democratic Ward Captain, was on her cell phone and, I think, the house phone with the local congressional office. There was some sort of confusion about where people from each ward lined up, which ward they were in, and if ward maps existed that could be passed around the line. I had woken up to all this noise with radiating jaw pain from clenching my teeth in my sleep and a horrible stress headache, which was how I had woken up for the last three or four days in a row. I took double the amount of Xanax I usually take every morning. I was terrified that I would go to sleep that night in a country where Barack Obama would no longer be my president.

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