Yesterday when the news hit that Lucy Liu had been cast in the new CBS Sherlock Holmes pilot, Elementary, I immediately turned into Tim Gunn. I crossed my arms, hummed into my fist, and thought “I’m concerned.”
Now, to be fair, I’ve been concerned about this show from its conception, mostly because the startling lack of originality pisses me off. It isn’t that we already are in the midst of both a movie and BBC adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s work, but because of my staunch belief that most crime dramas are, with varying levels of explicitness, spin-offs of Sherlock Holmes anyway, and I really am getting sick of it. Stop me if you’ve seen this show before: an eccentric puzzle-solving genius with no people skills forms a deep bond with their partner, a people-smart every(wo)man who translates how the world works for them outside of their intellectual bubble. There are vary levels of acknowledgement of sexual tension/mutual co-dependency. Together, they fight crime!
Yawn. Over it. And unless some new twist is brought to the table, I feel no need to watch, either. And let me be explicitly clear: making one of those versions of Holmes or Watson a woman? Does not count as original. Both Bones and Rizzoli & Isles already beat you to it. And, quite frankly, this gender-flipping of Watson? It made me concerned that this show would sail right past “boring” and into “potentially super-duper socially problematic” category.
Sometimes, even with the embarrassment of riches that is American television (especially if you have cable), there’s still a hole in your heart. And, for whatever reason, you turn to your sexy part-time lover, British television.
What is it that makes us turn to British TV? As someone who regularly cheats on American TV, I can’t tell you. Maybe it’s the sexy accents. Maybe it’s the thrill of all the extra-legal maneuvering you have to take to see it before it’s going to air six months later in the US, at which point no one will care and you’ll be totally spoiled for it, anyway. Maybe it’s just better. (I have a long and mostly nonsensical/unfounded argument on how and why British TV does drama better than American TV, but I’ll spare everyone.)
For whatever reason, we all have a British show or five that we’re hooked on. For the purposes of brevity in this poll, I only included currently-running shows (which counts out Torchwood and its weird “is it over or is it a hiatus?!” break) and shows that were not spin-offs of other shows (Sorry, Brittany, that discounts Law & Order: UK, even if it is a totally different show that its American cousin). I’m sure, though, that I’ve missed some, so let us know in the comments. What’s that show from across the pond that does it for you more than anything else? We here at CliqueClack are dying to know.
Most of the time I do not believe that the world is full of fundamentally stupid people. But every so often an issue comes along that makes me want to pull my hair and scream over because I cannot understand how people are so mind-bogglingly idiotic as to simply fail to understand what seems to me to be a very simple thing. I think the greatest issue of our time that causes me to regularly go into a state of rubbing my face in exhaustion and yelling “ARRRRRGH” at my ceiling is the universe’s consistent inability to understand Zooey Deschanel and anything even remotely related to her. (This also forms the basis of my tangential massive grudge against the universe: any and all analysis of the movie (500) Days of Summer. Tom is a presumptuous dick who doesn’t listen to a word Summer says, and no, you don’t want to marry him, and no, he is not “the perfect guy.” And this is the entire point of the movie, writer of the bazillionth blog article that acts like this is brand new information that they are the very first to discover. Congratulations, you watched the trailer past the part where it said “this is not a love story” and weren’t distracted by Joseph Gordon-Levitt‘s dimples. What do you want, a prize? A cookie? End rant.)
Can someone please explain to me what, exactly, Zooey Deschanel has done to make her so hated? She seems to me like a pretty mild, run-of-the-mill celebrity. Her aesthetic is slightly twee, but I don’t really get the problem with that. Does a kitten die every time someone takes a picture with instagram? Is that it? Plus, honestly, she doesn’t seem that twee to me, from what I have gathered from her twitter and other various internet presences. Sure, she favors things that are cute and happy, but, if YouTube is any indication, so does 99% of humanity. No, what people seem to object to is the way she has been packaged as some sort of quirky hipster goddess. And, I agree, it’s annoying, but I don’t see what the point of getting mad at her is when most of that work is done by the Hollywood publicity machine. Think of them as a dubious meat packaging plant. They see a person and decide to slap a label on them to make them easier to sell to the average consumer. Getting mad at Zooey Deschanel — or any celebrity, for that matter — for that is roughly the equivalent of finding a rat paw in your hotdog and thinking it’s the hotdog’s fault, or being angry that hotdogs exist because you’re a vegetarian. It’s fine to not like the metaphorical hotdog. But for the love of god, can we not blame the hotdog?