There are certain things in my life that, while I know they are untrue and/or unlikely, I believe anyways, because they make my life either easier or just a better place to be. I know I’m not the only person who does this, because people continue to do things like go to Vegas or buy lottery tickets, but I do think I am the only person to have these elaborate scenarios involve television shows. For example, my current belief that I am operating under is that the entire Merlin writing staff has found every sentence I have ever written about the show and where I want it to go and what I want to see from certain characters and taken it to heart. Merlin staff meetings now all start with people going, “What would Julia do?” and then humming to themselves in a very thoughtful and British manner. I am, of course, aware this is untrue, but I believe it in the same manner I believed throughout my adolescence that those crappy top 40 love songs were really written all about me and my personal romantic anguish.
This is not just because Merlin and Arthur’s relationship this season has been the thing all my daydreams have ever been made of. And, per the vow I made at the beginning of this season, I will not continue to re-write the same column over and over about how perfect the two of them are together, or about how their facial nuances give me a lot of feelings. I will not do that even though it has occupied about 85% of my brain processes for the last 24 hours. Nor will I discuss in any detail that I have reached a point that I now believe you can’t watch this show and not come away convinced that Merlin and Arthur are in love with each other. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that once you have made it explicitly clear that two dudes consider each other the most important thing in the world that they would unquestioningly die for, the moniker of “bromance” seems somehow insignificant. But if that were really all I was basing my theory that the Merlin writers are now firmly committed to giving me everything I ever wanted, it would be a pretty weak theory, because at least a third of the people who are watching this show are rooting for the same thing.