Every summer, I compile a list of shows I’ve heard rave reviews about but haven’t had time to watch, and then use the off-season to catch up on them. This year, the first on my list was Game of Thrones. Not only was everyone talking about it like it was the second coming , but it features two of my favorite things: high fantasy, and ridiculously attractive people engaged in political shenanigans. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, the first thing that went wrong was that I was desperately confused. That was easy enough to fix — after all, that’s what Wikipedia was invented for. The only problem with Wikipedia is that you can inadvertently get spoiled for what’s coming up. In my case, I got spoiled for a big old theme that would soon be recurring — everyone would die. I don’t just mean a few characters, I mean that according to the source material, there would be perhaps three characters left that we had started out with. And many of those characters would be incapacitated or brutalized in various ways, including the fact that they’d have the mental scarring of having everyone they’d ever known or loved be dead.
“And that,” I said to myself in my very best George Bluth impression, “is why you don’t watch dramas.”