A Fake History of the Space Program (Originally for hitRECord)

Bob Newhart had dreamed about the stars since he was a little boy. He used to stare out his window for hours, too enthralled to go to sleep, only to nod off later in class.

Despite his brushes with academic narcolepsy, Bob graduated with high grades and was quickly recruited to NASA. Here was where he truly excelled above the other space-exploring hopefuls, coming in first in tests of turbulence tolerance, advanced button-switching without the aid of gravity, and ability to eat freeze-dried ice cream in large quantities.

Bob thought he had found his soulmate when he met Marcy Heidiger, a science reporter who had eyes the color of the night sky, hair the color of the sun, and a face as round as the moon. They had only been on two dates when Bob had already decided she was the girl he was going to marry.

(Read more…)

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