Monthly Archives: January 2011

Consider the Elephant (Originally for hitRECord)

My twin brother is studying to be a scientist. What sort of scientist, I can’t quite tell you. All I know is that it has to do with very teeny-tiny things, and he’s extremely concerned with how to fold proteins.

I am not a scientific person. I did not even know that proteins could fold, or that there were certain ways they folded, or that all that molecular origami had life-saving implications. That is the kind of not-scientific person I am. My brother, when he comes home, occasionally attempts to explain scientific principles to me. One disastrous winter break, he was trying to explain the work of his friend the theoretical physicist, which led to an argument on Schrodinger’s Cat that lasted the entire month he was home.

This partially has to do with the fact that my brother is exactly as gifted at verbal communication and story-telling as I am at science – that is to say, he isn’t – and spent the initial explanation undecided if in this scenario the cat was administered a drug that left it dead or sleeping, depending on how humane he was feeling at that moment.  Finally, though, after much confused Wikipedia-ing and prolonged explanations, I looked him square in the eye and said, “That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“A cat can’t be halfway dead,” I said. “Either it’s dead or alive. You’re telling me that scientifically, the cat is considered 50% dead simply by virtue of not knowing if it’s alive or not. But let’s say the cat’s dead, right, and then you look, and you see it’s dead. It was still 100% dead two seconds ago, it didn’t become 50% less dead just because you now know it’s dead. Are you honestly telling me that there is an enduring scientific theory based upon a human inability to simply check on the mortality of a cat?”

“The cat’s a metaphor,” he said, “see, if the cat were an electron, this wouldn’t be dumb.”

“But it’s not an electron, it’s a cat,” I protested. “Seriously, am I the first person who realized how stupid this is? It’s a cat.”

“But,” my brother said with the air of someone who has irrefutable logic on their side to win an argument, “it doesn’t matter, because it’s true.”

“I just told you it wasn’t true!” I said. “Do I have to go through the dead cat thing again? It is a terrible, terrible metaphor that kills cats!”

“No,” my brother corrected me, “it’s science.”

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Hawaii Five-0 – Much bigger than a tidal wave (Originally for CliqueClack TV)

Ironically enough, I usually strongly dislike crime procedural dramas. (I say “ironically” because the two American shows I cover here are Bones and Hawaii Five-0.)

Usually what turns me off about these shows is that everything happens in a one-episode vacuum with no thoughts for repercussions or morality. The cops/detectives aren’t people, they’re human incarnations of the audience that are completely unaffected by the horrors we’re supposed to believe they are constantly exposed to. They have no personality or life outside of the show. What draws me to any show is the human element, and recurring characters who endear themselves to me are what keeps me coming back and turns me from a casual viewer who will watch occasionally while chopping vegetables for dinner to an honest-to-God fan who would never miss an episode. There are a lot of shows that attempt to do that, mostly with limited success. Bones did it first, which is what drew me to that show, Castle made a serious attempt to replicate that, but I was never as endeared to the characters (which is why I’m a casual viewer) , but I think, far and away, Hawaii Five-0 does it best.

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Bones – The bitterness in the acceptance (Originally for CliqueClack TV)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Hart Hanson is always right. Sometimes it takes a while for him to be right,  but he’s always right. In this case, though it’s taken me roughly forever and a day, I have come around. This episode I finally liked Hannah. I’m still not her biggest fan, but I see potential in her. She genuinely values her friendship with Brennan, is respectful of Booth and Brennan’s relationship, and yeah, she was a little obnoxious with her attempt at avoidance, but she was honest when confronted. So, Hart Hanson, I apologize. You were right, and I was wrong. I like Hannah.

Unfortunately for you, I now hate Booth.

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The Fairest of them All – The 2011 Golden Globes Edition

I realized, as I was sitting around in my stained pajamas in desperate need of a shower, that I hadn’t partaken in my one of my favorite past-times in a while. By that, I of course mean judging the sartorial choices of others.  And what better event to do it at than my favorite of all awards shows, the Golden Globes? Because I really, truly adore the Golden Globes. They’re the drunken child of the Emmys and the Oscars, a place where I don’t have to differentiate or choose between my favorite movie stars and television stars, because they’re all in one crowded ballroom getting increasingly, gloriously plastered.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, really.

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Kono Kalakaua – Hot girl or feminist victory? (Originally for CliqueCack TV, co-written with An Nicholson)

Oh, television feminism. A thorny subject to tackle, I think you’ll all agree. But with no new episode of Hawaii 5-0 to discuss, An and I decided to go for it, head on. The debate? Is Kono (Grace Park) little more than just a “hot girl cop,” or is she one small step for feminism?

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