Once upon a time, there was a show called Merlin. It was an exceedingly campy re-telling of the Arthurian legends, only re-imagined so Arthur and Merlin were young and totally repressing their big bromantic love, Morgana was evil, but in a totally awesome way, and Gwen quietly kicked ass. It was a good show. Sadly, it started being replaced by what I can only describe as a spin-off called Camelot High, where Merlin played the sassy friend who never gets any while Arthur and Gwen acted out every Taylor Swift song ever and Morgana smirked so hard I thought she was going to pull something, but magically, no one noticed her smirking.
The Camelot High version of Merlin was not, in and of itself, a bad show. Certainly not any worse than a show about stupid teenagers doing stupid things. The problem with it was that, if you remembered the way Merlin started, it just seemed so awful in comparison. The characters were one-dimensional and inconsistent, the plots were repetitive, it was just kind of … blah. But I had resigned myself to stop fighting it and just accept that this was the state of Merlin affairs, these days.
I am pleased, however, to announce that once again, Merlin is back on air, and oh my gosh, does it feel good to watch it again. This is the show I remember! With the epic fighting and the giant legendary plots and the characters that make sense! Why did this show ever go away?
Dear whoever is in charge of writing Merlin,
It is not a secret that I skipped the last episode. Honestly, I couldn’t deal with it, and after watching a few clips on YouTube, I absolutely made the right choice. What was that, show? I can only conclude that a) you’ve decided that completely re-writing Arthur’s character on an episode-by-episode basis is excusable as he has so much brain damage from passing out constantly even he can’t remember who he is anymore, and b) there’s a new “awkwardest kissing ever” award and you really want to win it.
Do you ever have one of those days? Everything is going great. You wake up and your hair is naturally awesome, your friend you haven’t heard from in forever e-mails you to make plans, you go out for lunch and get the best sandwich ever, you find a twenty in your coat pocket. And then … something happens. Maybe you burn dinner. Maybe you get a really big bill. Maybe you trip and sprain your ankle. But something, some little, tiny thing, ruins your otherwise perfect day. And even though maybe the day, as a whole, was a win, all you take away from it was the fact that your ankle really freaking hurts and everything sucks.
That day? Was this episode of Bones.
Ah, l’amour. There’s hardly a show that goes without it, these days, because let’s face it — viewers love love. And every show wants to have that iconic pairing, or the Ross and Rachel, if you will. The David and Maddie. The Mulder and Scully. The Booth and Brennan. Shows want to make a couple that is so epic it is what their show will be remembered for, because let’s face it — we all live for that.
But for all the epic couples that television has given us, there are just as many, if not more, couples who are, well, really awful. When I e-mailed the rest of the writers at CliqueClack for ideas, the fact that I merely mentioned the Pacey/Joey/Dawson debacle was enough to give some of them traumatic flashbacks.
In the “profession” of blogging about television, there are a few things you almost never get to do; and one of those things is that you never get to say you’re right. Every time you write, you write out this opinion, and you think it’s really solid, and you check all your facts and feel really good, but you never get to really prove your point. And then there’s the suckiness, which is when people get mad at you for your point.
Like, last week, right? Last week I said I was sorry, but Hannah kind of sucks. And hoo boy, did I get yelled at. I was a terrible person! I hated French Canadians! (For the record, this was a pretty funny accusation. I actually have a deeply-seated adoration for all stripes of Canadian accents. I watched curling last Olympics just to hear Canadian accents.) I’m a rabid Booth/Brennan shipper who hates anyone who comes between them! I am everything that is wrong with the fans of this show!
Now, criticism is part of what happens when you put your opinion out there, so for the record, I don’t care about that. If I did care about that, I would have quit CliqueClack within the first week of joining. People are free to disagree with me. Here’s what I will say — it is so rare that, when you put out an opinion on a show, you neatly get handed proof that you were exactly right the very next week. So I’m going to revel in this for a second. In the words of Liz Lemon, my personal hero, I would like to say the following to everyone who yelled at me:
Suck it, nerds!
So call me crazy but I really liked this week’s episode of Merlin. Was it ridiculous filler? Yes. Was it a total rehash of the same plot that’s been used a million times? Yes. But hey, I like the formula. If I didn’t like that formula, I probably would have gotten sick of this show a lot sooner.
I don’t want to be the bitch around here, and Lord knows I don’t want to complain in every column I write, but I’ve checked around, and it’s not just me. Booth’s new girlfriend, Hannah? She’s kind of … off.
I don’t think it’s just me wanting to see Booth and Brennan together that’s making me say this, because I’ve never really minded their girlfriends or boyfriends in the past, unless they were murderers. And I’ve never really minded the show keeping them apart. But for some reason, Hannah? I mind her.