Bones – Three is a super-uncomfortable crowd (Originally for Clique Clack Television)

Hart Hanson, you are not often wrong. In fact, I’d say I’m one of your most ardent defenders. I’d like you to adopt me and teach me everything you know. So when I say what I’m about to say to you, please, please know that I must really mean it from the bottom of my heart.

You done goofed.

I’m not talking about the end of the season last season — that was pretty genius. It was the perfect setup for Brennan getting over her trust issues. If Booth came back still in love with her, she wouldn’t have fallen into his arms, you could easily have saved that until sweeps, giving bits of herself to him inch in increasingly intimate ways until there was a kiss around, say, when you go for Christmas break, and then they’re nothing serious, we swear, this is a natural extension of our working relationship, until the season finale when there’s some big dramatic bang and then they’re official, and you can spend the next season dealing with the fallout and then if you have a seven-season plan, wham bam thank you ma’am, you tie it up in the season seven finale, final bow, bravo. Excellent pacing, mon ami.

But right now with Booth’s new girl Hannah (Katheryn Winnick), you’re losing me. You promised me I’d love her and so I was waiting to meet her, only I don’t love her. I hate her. She’s so … obnoxiously perky and full of herself and her voice really irritates me and how does she have some afternoon delight with Booth and still look that perfect? She’s just so pretty and empty and blah. I want to trust you. I so very badly want to trust you, Hart Hanson, but the way you are making Booth and Brennan, two very intelligent individuals, act like ridiculous highschoolers.

(Read more…)

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