Most days, I like to think of myself as a good person. I make an effort to be polite to strangers, I’m kind to animals and children, I’m conscious of my environmental impact — that makes me a fine specimen of humanity, right?
Lately, however, I’ve been feeling like a lazy bum. Just doing my daily chores takes up my entire day and leaves me exhausted. I haven’t had the mental ability to write a column in way too long, so instead I play online Boggle for hours and feel super-guilty every time I open the tab I’m trying to write in and all my exhausted little brain shoots out is: “Art. Rat. Tar. Arts. Star. Tars. Rats. Sat. Ras…” After just such a day of feeling kind of like a massive, lazy, spoiled tool who was incapable of living in the real world, my sister, best friend, and I remembered there was this new show premiering on VH1 called You’re Cut Off that we’d wanted to watch, so we tuned into it.
Now, normally I don’t talk about my VH1 reality viewing habits because, well, they’re kind of embarrassingly terrible. There’s no excuse for the in-depth psychoanalysis I engage in for everyone who appears on Tough Love, and I really, really cannot justify my fascinated horror with each increasingly awful dating show that explores Ray-J or Brett Michaels‘ terrible life choices. It’s the television equivalent of every so often indulging in a Ho-Ho when you usually are a conscientious eater of the proper fruits and vegetables.
The premise of this particular reality show is to take 9 super-spoiled girls (we’re talking, buying multiple Ferraris on a whim, shoe closets bigger than my house, don’t know how to make themselves a peanut butter sandwich, spoiled) whose parents are fed up with them, and stick them with a life coach in a “poor” house (read: a nice, normal, suburban house which one of the girls proclaims immediately is “so ghetto” and described as “being so poor we’re, like, on food stamps”) and force them to fend for themselves and take on menial jobs. Cue hissyfits and amazing reality television. When my best friend settled down next to me to watch, she said, “Man, I’m totally prepared to now feel great about myself after watching this.”
And oh, we did.