Dear Evan Kasprzak,
Since So You Think You Can Dance turned a hundred episodes old and danced about cancer this week, I should probably talk about that. I should stick to voicing my unpopular opinions, like that Brandon should have been the one that went home this week, or that the cancer dance wasn’t really sad, if you didn’t know it was about cancer and weren’t thereby projecting. Maybe I should make my really inappropriate comments about how hilarious I found it that directly following the cancer routine was a zombie routine, as if to say, “Don’t worry, if you do die of cancer, this is what happens to you!”
But instead, I’ve got to talk about you. I’ve just got to. Because that’s right, I’m a Kasprzaktivist.