Why Nigel Lythgoe is a giant, flaming bag of douche (Originally for Clique Clack Television)

nigellythgoeAmerican Idol pretty firmly has set the judges’ formula for every performance reality show ever. Sure, the Randy Jackson role of a wise-yet-incomprehensible black dude is sometimes rotated and a bit of a wild card, but you’ve got two roles that remain steady. First, you have the potentially psychotic yes-woman Paula Abdul type with her weird way of talking, fame from a bygone era, and rampant pills/plastic surgery/botox. And then, of course, there is the Simon Cowell — the British guy who is a giant douchebag.

Since So You Think You Can Dance is made by the same people as American Idol, they naturally follow the sacred formula, only, as if to make up for a lack of a Randy Jackson replacement, they have made their Paula Abdul, Mary Murphy, extra crazy and botoxed, and they’ve made their Simon, Nigel Lythgoe, way, way more douchey.

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